What About My Partner?
an article by Alice Duffy, Yoga Yoga teacher

Perhaps the most frequently asked question by expectant parents considering hiring a doula is what role the father will take if a doula is present. The answer will depend on the couple. The doula encourages the father to participate in the birth as much as he feels comfortable doing. Some men clearly don't feel comfortable with the birthing process and would prefer a more "hands off" role. But the majority of fathers are right there helping their partners through the process. The benefit of having a doula it that it takes the pressure off of the dad to know what to suggest, when to suggest it and how to answer mom's questions during the labor.

We place a huge burden on fathers these days by insisting they "coach" mom through childbirth, yet we usually leave them alone with very little guidance. Imagine if we gave a man twelve hours of instruction (in this analogy we are assuming he took a twelve hour childbirth class which isn't always the case) on the basics of coaching football. Then on Super Bowl Sunday we placed him in the middle of the stadium and said, "Now you coach the game." We would have to come up with the right plays at the right time and make the necessary adjustments. The game was one of the most important games in the lives of the players - one thy will never forget. Would we ever do this? No, but we have no problem doing this to them for the birth of their baby. A doula is trained to handle the play-by-play of labor, which frees the couple to concentrate on working together through the labor.

A doula is also valuable as a second set of hands and another mind off which to bounce ideas. Sometimes labor can be quite long and the father needs to take breaks to use the restroom, eat a meal, or even take a nap. These can be quite difficult to do when he really needs to stay with the mom during labor. Having a second support person there allows the father to take those much needed breaks to he can return refreshed and ready to help his wife. Additionally, with long labors the dad may run out of suggestions for the mom to try (position, breathing techniques, massages, etc.). The doula will be that supply of endless suggestions.

In summary, the doula can free the dad from the stress of knowing what to do, say and suggest and to allow him to do what he does better than anyone else...love and support his wife.