This Yoga Thing Doesn't Seem To Be Working, by Matt Borer

My parents began practicing Hatha Yoga years ago. I suppose I talked about it so much that they figured there must be something to it! They've been practicing twice a week ever since. About two years into his practice, I asked my Dad how it was going. He said, "My back and body feel much better, but I am not sure if this yoga thing is really working." I was astonished by the comment, and curious, so I asked him to elaborate. He said that, although he was physically feeling a better, he was getting more and more frustrated with daily living. "It's just making me realize all the things I don't like about my own behavior." I was blown away! He had come to THE most important stage of a yogic journey beyond asana!

I liken it to step one of Alcoholics Anonymous, the admission and acceptance that I have a problem. We all do. We all have imperfections and behavior we'd like to change! At first it can seem daunting and even depressing, but a great power comes from this realization. In any given breath I can change who I want to be and how I want to be. The path to change begins with the recognition of what needs changing.

So how does this yoga thing work? How does an asana practice lead me to recognizing things about myself I need to change?

We can all look back at our yoga history and see how we got from just doing asana to sleeping better, walking better, feeling better, acting better, etc. I've seen students become entirely different human beings as they continued their practice. I have meditated a lot on the questions of why and how, and these are my thoughts so far:

To me, asana is a way of processing all the emotions and reactions of your daily life on a microscopic level in a safe environment. The beauty of it is that you may never even be aware of it! I believe that the ultimate result of an asana practice has nothing to do with physical ability. Don't get me wrong, there are fantastic physical benefits to practicing yoga, plus it's just plain fun to play with the body and get it to do fantastic things. But Eka Pada Sirsana is not about how great it is to get a leg behind the head. To me it's all about how to be in a posture that is that challenging and possibly uncomfortable, and still be just as calm and relaxed as I would be in Savasana.

Each breath in each asana, I am forced to deal with dozens of emotions and reactions on a small and inconsequential scale. "I hate it. I love it. I'm bad at it. I'm great at it. That guy is great at it. Too slow. Too fast. It hurts, but I'll do it anyway. I need to try harder. I'll just sit here and hang out." All of these classics and more coming soon to a brain near you!

This is where Ashtanga becomes a great method for moving beyond asana. We are learning to deal with all of that turmoil, not by ignoring it or sleepwalking, perpetuating what Buddhists call "conditioned existence," but by peeling it away a bit at a time. Ujjayi breath, Dristi, and Bandhas are our tools to relax and focus during each asana. You can observe your thoughts and respond to the challenges of each posture. This is practice and this is hard! We constantly observe ourselves and make adjustments until the hardest asana is the most comfortable place to be. Constantly dealing with these thoughts and emotions is one of the most profound benefits we take from Ashtanga. In any challenging situation, just as in class, you can choose to plow through with abandon, or observe yourself and adjust.

My feeling is that from beyond our own skin, the world is out of our control. You will always stub your toe and it will hurt, there are things you will be good at and struggles, things you may never do, and so on. However, from the skin in you have the power to harness complete control. If we can breathe easily and smile with a leg behind our head, then we can also breathe easy and focus through ecstasy or tragedy. I love this idea, that from the skin in I can have a choice of who I want to be, how I will react to situations and interact with others. In any given breath I can choose who I want to be and how I want to be.

This is the power of yoga! To meet any situation with compassion, understanding, serenity, and efficacy. This evolution is happening during every breath of every asana, and you may not even notice! Enjoy your practice. Take it seriously and with humor. These are simply silly postures to play with, but the effects can be life changing.