Many come to Ashtanga with a type-A personality, and a desire to shape up their bodies, develop muscle, or learn to breathe consistently. After 6 years of this type of yoga practice, I have deepened my awareness of what this practice really means to me. In my younger Ashtanga days I was competitive with people around me. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I was even angry that I wasn't where they were in their practice. Frustrated and competitive at yoga? Something was amiss.

Before I found yoga, a long-term stress injury had left me with chronic back pain. I felt a contstant nagging in between my shoulder blades and neck that left me soaking in the tub for hours after work. That soak was the only thing that relaxed me enough to continue my day, it was the only tool I had. I had conquered a drinking problem, and after that I was left to deal with the battered state of my body, mind, and spirit. Why yoga? Hmmm, racing thoughts, achy body, brittle bones for starters! A girlfriend told me about her experience at Yoga Yoga and how gratifying it was. Something rang a bell.

I remember each yoga class my teacher at the time asked us to set an intention for our practice. Mine always was "relax." Fitting! I started with a year of Hatha and Hatha Flow classes with teachers who pushed the envelope - they held poses a little longer, tried unconventional asanas, or kept the room a little warmer than usual. I was excited by the challenges, but found myself wanting something more.

In Ashtanga we do the same sequence of postures every class. Some are very difficult. Students aren't expected to be able to do everything within the first year. It is meant to be a practice studied over time - a discipline. I think the fact that the sequence is always the same is very appealing to me. I know what to expect each time I walk into the studio, and it is up to me to work gently towards each pose. I have experience not being gentle with myself, or working with teachers that push students too hard - the result is injury. I have two that flare up every once in a while in my knee and a lower back. I'm happy to report that with modifications my back injury is 96% healed. My knee is significantly better and rarely gives me problems. I now listen to my body when it says slow down.

Competition has its place- but it doesn't belong in the Ashtanga room. Ideally we help each other and cheer each other on with each success. Sometimes those breakthroughs are few and far between and that makes accomplishments extra sweet. My chronic back pain? It's gone! It's my first blessing among many from Ashtanga. It has helped me breathe more evenly and work through problems in my personal life. There is nothing like breathing with every movement, in unison, in a yoga class to kill the momentum of a panic attack, a brewing problem at work and in relationships. The best benefit is to work with a loving teacher who cares to watch my growth week after week- year after year. Yoga Yoga has plenty of loving teachers who I have studied with throughout the years. Yoga is, at its most basic, a series of postures that keeps the body limber and relaxes the mind. But for me, it's much more. It is prayer, meditation, forgiveness, and success beyond material wealth.