I Can See Myself!

My bathroom mirror is covered in little hand prints. This is because my 3 ½ year-old, Nate, likes to draw in the steam while I take a shower. Fine by me, so long as I get a 10-minute break from “20 questions.” Once I'm out of the shower, however, and ready to comb my hair and put on makeup, it's not as cute. I really can't see myself at all. I have to clean a spot away in order to see. Well, it's not just our bathroom mirrors that need polishing.

Can you still see yourself? You are Mama (or Mommy, or Mom, etc.) first and foremost. It is probably the biggest part of who you are. You may also be a wife, partner, friend, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, and aunt. You wear more hats than the Village People! It is easy to get so covered up in these costumes and roles that you can no longer see the carefree woman inside.

Mothers can feel very isolated at times, as well. When we feel isolated, we feel disconnected. When we feel disconnected, we can get very sad. Even depressed. Our mirror becomes tarnished with tears, be they physical, spiritual, or emotional.

You may be covered in baby puke or toddler dirt most of the time. You may even be alone (with baby) most of the time. But you are still a young and vibrant woman with an interesting past and smart things to say! If you work outside the home for pay, your intellect may still be validated at work, but you are not the woman you were before you took maternity leave. That woman always wore matching shoes and had cute purses. This woman's shoes are suspect, and her purse is now big enough to fit a breast pump. All of these things are not sad, they just might make your identity mirror a little foggy.

So get out of your sweats! Brush your hair! Buy a zebra-patterned bra and WEAR it! Take a yoga class—by yourself. Read a romance novel. Learn topiary. Go for a “girls night out.” Do whatever the you that was in the mirror before motherhood would like to do. Before you know it, you will see through the hand prints and costumes and shout, “I can see myself!”...and she's spectacular!

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