My wife and I were down in the Yucatan a couple of years ago on vacation and decided to take a yoga class at the place we were staying.

Along with ten other gringos, we met on a pavilion by the beach and waited for our teacher. We were a mixed group, a few yoga dilettantes with embroidered mat bags and two couples who decided to take the first yoga class of their lives as a way to kill some time before the bar opened. Just your typical class of yoga students in other words.

Down the beach strode a Mayan princess in Jessica Simpson shirred hipster bikini bottoms with an OM tee-shirt top. Her smile was perfect and her English nearly so. "You guys want to do some hot yoga?" she asked us as she unfurled her mat. "Let's get started."

Then with a cool ruthlessness of a high priestess preparing a sacrifice, she whipped us through a dozen cruel sun salutations that had me whimpering face down in the sand. I stole a glance over at the new yoga couple. They looked like animals caught in a trap, waiting to be spiced and fried.

"My God," the woman said, "this is yoga?"

"Now we are going to do some Mayan Yoga," she announced to our shaken group. She lined us up and marched behind us. "Squeeze the buttocks!" she commanded.

I looked hopefully around for the buttocks she was referring to. "Your butts," she said. "Squeeze them tight, and hold them tight, tight."

We complied to her satisfaction. "Good. Now guys I want you to hold your breath like this." She puffed up her checks until they stuck out and her eyes swelled. We puffed our cheeks and bugged our eyes.

"Good. Now watch me." We did so in horrified fascination as she proceed to hop side to side with her breath held in and her buttocks oh so tight. "Now hop, lower, lower, hop, hop!"

We hopped for all we were worth, feeling her discerning eyes on our buttocks. We hopped for ten minutes until one of the women fell down. Her companion looked at her with pity and kept jumping with swollen red cheeks.

Everything began to fade like memories of posttraumatic shock victims as she had us do more and more Mayan Yoga until we were all ready to jump off the nearest pyramid.

"Okay guys that's it. Relax your buttocks. Class is over."

I had to ask as I walked over to her bow-legged, "Where did you learn Mayan Yoga?"

"You like it?" she asked. "I learn it in the jungle from a very special teacher." I imagined a huge tree frog with a big tight butt initiating her into the mysteries of Mayan Yoga. "And I took some Ashtanga classes in the United States. I just put them together."

Although I had stopped drinking when I turned 21 many years ago, I was tempted to follow my classmates into the pitcher of Margaritas they were now quaffing with gusto in place of a well-earned shavasana.

The experience made me so grateful for trained yoga teachers, professional teachers, people who devote years of their life to the study of yoga before they taught others. And while you still only have to travel as far as across town to find a bad yoga class, at least you have an equal chance to find a trained, qualified yoga teacher.

Not everyone knows there are professional standards of training and education for a registered yoga teacher. They take training hours in anatomy and physiology, teaching methodology, and yoga philosophy. They undergo classes in ethics and how to teach beginners safely. When they have completed a recognized yoga teacher-training course, they are qualified to teach public classes.

Not all yoga teachers in the United States are registered yoga teachers. Many people do teach with little formal training. Some are good teachers, and some frankly should not be teaching yoga. Even with formal training, there is a wide range of competency among yoga teachers.

At Yoga Yoga we train teachers. We are a nationally recognized yoga teacher training school. Not only do we only train and hire registered yoga teachers to teach in our studios, we have our own internal teaching guidelines and standards our teachers adhere to. They are required to take continuing on-going education classes and diligently pursue advanced training as it becomes available. They follow a system of ethical guidelines for student and teacher relationships, and are periodically reviewed by our teaching staff.

Before we even hire a teacher at Yoga Yoga, we have them teach a class before a panel of registered yoga teachers.

Even with all of that professionalism, the ultimate benchmark for us is does your teacher deliver an experience to you that is consonant with the tenets of yoga? We hope you will let us know when they do and especially if they do not. We have an easy way for you to give us feedback by just clicking here. (www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=842721499006)

May all your yoga classes elevate you.
May your buttocks be relaxed as appropriate.
May we bless all our teachers, including those who hop on the beach in their bathing suits, for everyone has something to teach us.

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